An Erudite Moment

Mostly, I’m unaware. I admit it, I miss stuff. What was she wearing? my wife asks me. Ummm, not sure I can help you there. I think she was wearing a dress, though. Does that help? Honey, isn’t that our turn? Oh yeah…sorry…

I’m the guy a few years ago who missed the earth tremors in the middle of the night—in Georgia! Huh? Tremors? When?

So when my wife asked me on the phone tonight to help her understand somebody, my dormant Dr. Phil kicked in, so much so that I stood outside myself and listened in awe at what was coming out of my mouth. I actually enlightened my wife by psychologically profiling said person! She was listening to me with a lot of ohhhhs and mmm-hmmms and ha’s and I could actually feel her nodding her head in rhythm with my professorial lucidness.

“Wow, Scott, I’ve known (them) for years and I’ve never heard it explained quite like that to me before,” she countered.

“Well, you know…” I inwardly gushed.

“I mean, really. You nailed it on the head. You got (them) pegged.”

Funny how things can turn. Sandy went on to share some other concerns of life and my mind slipped back into neutral. I guess a man can only be lucid for a few moments at a time. I found the autopilot switch (men can find it in the dark, you know) and tepidly involved myself in the conversation with a lot of uh-huhs and you don’t says, interjecting an occasional oh honey, here and there. Just because we may be on auto doesn’t mean we can’t appear supportive.

“I can tell this conversation is over,” she chuckled.

I was caught. “What? No! Wha–?”

“Scott Mitchell, I know you,” she said playfully.

Indeed she does. And it’s true of just about every husband unless you happen to be in a Jane Austen novel. But it’s not by choice, ladies, really it’s not. On those rare occasions when a man’s synapses fire in the brain, there has to be intermittent cooling or we could permanently damage something.

You just mostly catch us during the cooling down period, ladies.

Hey, another Dr. Phil moment!

That’s two in one day…